Brake fluid will remove auto paint (and nail varnish) - so be careful!

Ah, so much patronising nonsense, so little time. I opened my copy of Eve this month (yes, I know, not exactly hip, but hey I'm a handbag-loving 30-something who loves looking at shiny things sometimes) and the snappily titled Hi fell out.

Cunningly designed to look like a magazine, it's actually commissioned by the Highways Agency, who are desperate to inspire you to "get to know your car even better" so you can be "fully prepared for life's more predictable journeys". Hmm.

Sprinkled among the glossy photos of ladies bending over car engines whilst wearing checked trousers (don't ask) were some stunning examples of how not to treat your audience. Bet you didn't know:

• "Your car is probably the most complicated machine you own"
• "Modern vehicles can have a huge number of warning lights"
• "Speed kills - as well as smudging lippy"

There was some really useful information buried under all the glossy tat, which I totally ignored because I was laughing too much. Oh, for god's sake. Do you really think that women only read things if you dress it all up in fashion-speak and plaster the text with pictures of shoes or chocolate eclairs?

Grr.