so it's time to start saving up for the ultimate in Christmas decorations...Fortnum and Mason's The Paragon Crackers.
Guaranteed to make your guests wince, if only at the stupidity of paying £1,000 for six glorified loo rolls. You do get "sumptuous hand-quilted fabric with real pearl detail" and some rather fantastic "python-print chocolate-coloured keep sake boxes". Sadly, no mention of party hats or jokes.
Update: look, even her maj goes for the budget option.