- Try to make kedgeree for tea for wife and parents, who have spent all afternoon slaving away in the garden chopping down evil spiky conifers.
- Boil eggs, cook rice/fish etc, using materials prepared by outstanding sous chef/wife.
- Place lightly steaming smoked haddock on a plate.
- Put tight-fitting saucepan lid on the top, to keep the heat in.
- Leave for a while, whilst you finish off cooking the rest of the rice.
- Attempt to wrestle lid off plate, using a combination of tea towels, mallets, screwdrivers, hot water, brute force and rude words.
- Try to ignore hysterical laughter.
Eventually, the plate saw sense and collapsed under the pressure. The kedgeree tasted fine, once we'd picked out a couple of bits of china...