This new-fangled stuff is marvellous, you know.

I have moved into a new age of technology.

Videos? Pah.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

(drumroll)

ON-DEMAND TV

(preferably hyphenated).

It's marvellous, I tell you. Yes, I know it's probably about three years after the rest of the population discovered this fact, and yes, I wouldn't have tried it at all if I wasn't so supremely incompetent with a video that I'd failed to record two episodes of Studio 60. But hey, I have finally arrived in 2007.

I have now decided that watching a tv programme on your laptop in bed while eating dark chocolate is the height of decadence.